Content Official Users 02/06/2013
Weird Wednesday: Osama bin Laden Land, Whale Vomit, BK’s Horse d’oeuvre
Wednesday is Hump Day, which means people are starting to look ahead to the weekend, but we think it’s a time when people are also looking to get a little weird. Luckily, there’s no shortage of that on the ‘net. With a little help from our Community Editor Kate, we were able to curate 8 of the absolute craziest videos on our site. Prepare yourself for horse meat, celebrity cats, expensive puke, terrorist rollercoasters, squishy purple balls, and sticky icky that’ll make you super sicky.
Burger King’s Horse Meat Scandal via NMA TV
NMA TV is the future of news. I despise watching the news. Outside of the rare local news screw up or whack job interview, it’s all doom and gloom. But NMA makes it easy to swallow. Following the thread on this storyline is an adventure: Equine DNA blamed on an Irish supplier who sources their beef from Poland with a little mad cow disease, Subway’s “Footlong”, and the Burger Time video game thrown in for good measure. Oh, and the French love horse meat apparently.
If you eat meat, where do you draw the line? Like why is it cool to eat cows but not horses? Who gave dogs and cats a reprieve? Not Chinese food restaurants.
1,000 Meter Long Smoked Horse Intestine Sets Record via Zoomin
Speak of the devil. 1,000 meters long, 3.5 meters high (100 layers), and weighing in at 4,500 kilograms. Burger King’s like, “See? It’s not so bad!” This treat is called ‘Kazy’ and might be coming in nugget form to Happy Meals everywhere.
Check Out This Cat’s Eyebrows via Geo Beats
I hate cats, but these felines are pretty funny. I’m convinced those eyebrows were drawn on, though. Fifteen minutes of fame are hard to come by these days. On the internet, it’s like 15 seconds of fame.
Gelatinous Purple Spheres Found in Desert via One Minute News
Really? No one knows what this is? Fungal growth? Absorbent polymer crystals? This could be the downfall of humankind and we’re just like, ‘eh, it’s purple, how bad could it be?’
Weird Traffic Laws via Buzz60
No vanity plates after a DUI. No driving with a gorilla in the backseat. Ducks have the right of way. Pay for your tied up elephant at a parking meter. No peeling out. No wiping car with used underwear. It sounds like everything that should happen in the next Hangover.
Man Discovers Rare Whale Vomit via Geo Beats
Ew, it’s the base scent in perfumes? $68,000? $295,000? How are the people at SeaWorld not wilin’ out at the club with this knowledge? I’m pretty sure somewhere out there, there’s a place where human vomit is valuable. Until someone disproves that theory, my barf bins won’t be emptied.
Osama bin Laden Amusement Park?!? via Geo Beats
The estimated $30 million amusement park will start off at 50 acres and extend to 500 acres, which will include a zoo, clubs, jogging tracks, and waterfalls. The builders believe it will take 8 years to complete, which is still less time than the CIA took to catch him (bunch of lazy Larrys).
By the way, I hope the ending in Zero Dark Thirty wasn’t an accurate depiction of what really went down at OBL’s compound. That was just ridiculous. No word yet on what the mascots at the park will look like – but I’m guessing something with a beard like a goat… or a clam.
Girl Brain Damaged & Blind After Smoking Synthetic Weed via One Minute News
70% of her brain died, they removed the feeding tube but she’s somehow recovering. Do you know how close I’ve come over the years to buying sketchy pills at the counter of various 7-Elevens or gas stations? I’m so glad I never smoked my grandmother’s potpurri dolls. The lesson here is to only buy 100% natural organically farmed weed, kids.*
*Chill out, lawyers. It’s a joke.
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