A train made entirely of a chick’s best friend (chocolate) set a new Guinness World Record as the longest chocolate structure in the world, measuring almost 112 feet in length and weighing more than 2,755 pounds.

This feat makes me think of TLC’s Cake Boss. That dude creates these magnificent works of art out of food and people feel awful eating them. But then you think about those kids you see in the commercials begging you to sponsor them so they can get like 8 grains of rice and you feel even worse. Hopefully, this bad boy’s going cross-Atlantic to some third world village. Can you imagine the look on their faces when this delicious wonder of the world pulls in? They’d immediately get diabetes.

For some reason, I want to build a chocolate Godzilla to destroy this thing. At the same time, I’d like to produce a commercial for the train station that commissioned this monster and set it to the tune of “C’mon N’ Ride It (The Train)” by Quad City DJs. What not have both? Have your chocolate train and eat it, too.

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Neal is the Editor of Dailymotion’s Sports, Comedy, and Viral Channels.