Official Users 10/08/2012
11 Unexpected Fails-to-Wins for Columbus Day
For all you jive turkeys who fell asleep during History class, Columbus Day celebrates the anniversary of Christopher Columbus arriving in the Americas – not him ‘discovering’ America – which many of us take to mean the US of A. Though many have hailed his accomplishment, others have cited how he completely ruined the indigenous people civilization by bringing about slavery and disease, etc. You could say Columbus’ voyage was really a fail, but it turned out to be a win because now we have the United States and a national holiday (except for select states like Hawaii and South Dakota who don’t observe it).
I can faintly hear the outraged screams from PC types who are offended by our fail-to-win analogy (and who alternatively celebrate Indigenous People’s Day or Native American Day instead). To them, we say, our time machine’s in the shop, so might as well enjoy these fail-to-win videos below. Life’s too short to hold a 520 year old grudge, amirite?
1. Ski Flip Fail To Win
2. Bored of Longboard Fails?
Now get down and gimme 20 sliding longboard crash push-ups!
3. The REAL Refs Wouldn’t Do That
With the controversy surrounding the NFL’s replacement refs, at least none of ‘em tried to slip in a quickie on the field. I love how this dude held the position for way too long. Things not going well at home?
4. It’s Called, ‘Ghost Filing The Papes’
Lazy desk jockeys all over the world are searching for that printer’s make and model.
5. Cork It, Dork
Even the champagne bottle’s like, ‘No one likes you, dude.’
6. Bowling for Hollas!
How did this not get a bigger reaction?
7. Snow Joke, man. This Actually Happened
Might as well call it a day, right? Hell, call it a career, that kid’s not ever topping that.
8. ‘I’ll Keep It Warm For Ya’
Tube #1: “Get OFF of me!” (flings kid)
Tube #2: (to Tube #1) “Oh yeah!?! Take THIS kid!”
9. His Butt Kicks Balls
All those years sitting on the bench have finally paid off.
10. Flippin’ For Bush
How’s this a win? Beyond those bushes lie a supermodel pool party. Quite possibly the coolest exit / entrance ever.
11. T-Bone Covered in Butter
How’s this a win? They just won their LIVES.
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